august: the good, the bad, the ugly
August is the friend who shows up uninvited, stirring up old memories you thought you’d buried long ago.
Dear Reader,
With the start of my favorite month, I’d like to take a moment to reflect on August, a month that could’ve been kinder to me. But as they say, “When life gives you lemons, you take tequila shots and write a Substack post!”
The Good
⭐️ It’s summer at last. For those living in central Europe, the true Euro Summer didn’t really arrive until August. June and July felt more like the rainy season in my homeland, Grenada. While my plants thrived in the moist summer humidity, I didn’t. Then August came around, and my most memorable day was simply sitting in silence on my balcony. I live in the city, and I usually don’t mind the noise. One summer day in August, I found myself sitting in peace. No babies crying, no dogs barking, no cars revving up. Just silence. I was at peace, watching my plants tilt their heads towards the 26°C sun at 7 a.m. I began to cherish early mornings: sipping a cup of instant coffee (my grinder is broken), wearing a bikini because it’s warm enough, and being embraced by the morning sun while the birds chirp. That’s my new definition of summer.
⭐️ The art of letting go lies in the act itself. You know how they say, your new life will cost you your old one? This becomes real once you enter a new season of life, and mine came to an end in August. It’s a feeling that’s both exhilarating and terrifying. When I sat on a plane to London one day in September 2019, moving to a new city and country for the first time, I looked out the window and saw my hometown fade into the distance. It was all blurry because I was crying and simultaneously trying to avoid eye contact with the flight attendant right in front of me. I still remember what I thought in that very moment: "You’ll never return home as the same person again." (And I didn’t, because soon after, the pandemic hit, and I shaved my hair off—but that’s a story for another day.) Sounds scary - I’m aware. It is scary, but sometimes you’ve got to take the leap, and you’ve got to do it scared because life is short. If you feel stuck in a situation, leave. I know it’s easier said than done, but it’s something you must do. Your mind will come up with a thousand excuses why it won’t work out—after all, you’ve built a comfortable life. But just like my plants, we all thrive, even when the sky is gray or pouring hot European summer rain.
⭐️ It’s too hot to think, and maybe that’s a good thing. (Not talking about climate change here). Emphasis on not being able to think. I’m a first-class overthinker, and my brain is always cluttered with thoughts. Some of the chronically online folks might even dare to call me a “Thought Daughter,” just another social media buzzword, it helps to read Sarah’s thoughts on that. Yes, I do think a lot, but not when it’s hot. Living in the moment has never been easier when your head isn’t filled with embarrassing stuff you said in 8th grade. My mind was clear, and whenever the sun peeked out from the clouds, I took a deep breath and a moment to be present.
The Bad
⭐️ Nobody warned me that you start losing a lot of friends in your mid-twenties. A topic that keeps coming up lately: friend breakups. Many people around me have ended friendships, and so have I. There are various reasons why people decide to part ways, but usually, it’s one friend who initiates the separation. The feeling of not being prioritized, losing trust, or not agreeing on political views were just some of the reasons I’ve heard, sometimes people simply grow apart in silence. And while it takes great courage to actively say goodbye and step out of someone’s life, you’re left to deal with the aftermath—the unbearable heartbreak. Some claim it’s harder than romantic breakups. I agree, especially if your ex-friend was your first point of contact whenever something significant happened in your life. The sadness is followed by silence—not the peaceful kind. There are echoes of happy laughter and good memories with that person that resurface every once in a while, overshadowing the less pleasant moments that initially led to the breakup. People we were once close to are still connected to us by an invisible thread of the past. We might not meet up or talk on the phone for hours, but when I see them, and our eyes meet, we share a friendly but melancholic “hello.” The good memories always return, reminding us that not everything was that bad.
Life is a bittersweet symphony, and I believe I can change, I can change, but I’m here in my mold, and I’m a million different people from one day to the next.
People can change, and maybe one day your ex-friend will become a new acquaintance from your past and perhaps, just perhaps, a friend again. Just make sure you don’t lose yourself in the process.
The Ugly
⭐️ Have you ever felt lonely? What do you do when the feeling comes? Can you sleep at night? The pandemic pushed us into an epidemic of loneliness. The STADA Health Report 2024, released on Monday, revealed that over half (52 percent) of Europeans “always, often, or occasionally” feel lonely. Knowing that doesn’t make the feeling go away. My first months living in London were lonely to the point where I felt so deprived of human touch that I was ready to hug a stranger. I was overwhelmed by a similar feeling this August. It’s hard to navigate socially in a small town where many circles overlap. Sometimes we don’t feel like we belong to any particular group, and often I feel like I don’t belong anywhere. Maybe if all the people who felt this way moved to an island, we’d finally feel like we belong somewhere. But the truth is, this emotion comes from within. I could be in a room full of people and still feel overshadowed by loneliness. I’ve felt lonely in relationships and without them. Lonely in the arms of a lover and lonely with a friend who also felt lonely. When things don’t go as we want, and people don’t react the way we expect, we come to realize that there’s a good chance nobody understands you the way you understand yourself. Humans are complex, and most of us don’t even fully understand ourselves. This isn’t meant to be a pity party but a call to action: call your parents, tell your friends you love them, and take care of yourself when feelings like loneliness arise. Everything is temporary, and sometimes feeling the feeling is the only way through.
⭐️ ⭐️ ⭐️ August’s Favorites ⭐️ ⭐️ ⭐️
My favorite song this month is Infinity Song’s "Sinking Boat". Watch this video to fall in love. “Why should I worry about rocking a sinking boat? It's all going to flames, and we’re dancing in a cloud of smoke.” No summer song has encapsulated melancholy and peace of mind like that since Lana Del Rey’s "Summertime Sadness" for me.
I haven’t watched a single movie this month, so no favorite film, but I do have a guilty-pleasure TV show: "Emily in Paris". I won’t comment on the execution (I can give you a detailed breakdown of my honest opinion anytime), but I will say the show is meant to be enjoyed. Don’t read too much into it—laugh at the humorously written dialogue and appreciate the fact that you hear a lot more actual French now than in Season 1. I’m excited for the show to continue and hope to watch some good movies in September.
I’m currently reading Acts of Service by Lillian Fishman, and it’s taking me back to the days of reading Fifty Shades of Grey in public, when only those who’d read the book understood what it meant to be seen with it. The writing is much clearer, and the book is a smooth read so far. If you’ve ever been caught in a love triangle or are intrigued by the idea, I’d highly recommend this book (I’m on page 102).
I’m stepping into the new month unapologetically. The world is still burning, and simply continuing to live is our strongest form of resistance. I don’t know what’s next, but I know I’m ready.
Stay safe, stay cool, and keep loving,
Jocelyne xx
